by Paula Breymeier
I lived alone in the mountains in a little cabin 20 minutes from the nearest road. The Karmarpa came to Boulder to teach at Karma Dzong, Trungpa Rinpoche’s center and I came down from my retreat home to see him.
I had always looked to the night sky and marveled at the stars and wondered “why”. I always wanted to understand the space between the stars. The Karmarpa was so wise and it seemed he might know the answer to that question. So when he met with a small group of students to answer our questions, it was the perfect opportunity to ask. But I felt very stupid and embarrassed to speak such a question in front of all the smart people there. So I just asked the question in my mind. I never spoke it out loud.
Without a word he answered my question. And he showed me how the life I was living was a lie. It was devastating. I ran out of the building as soon as I could, my eyes filled with tears. After a while I calmed down and returned to the building, my mind empty and shorn of delusion. As I entered the building, he was just leaving, tall, regal with his entourage following behind. He looked at me and instilled my heart with perfect confidence.
This has remained with me, vivid and unadulterated for more than three decades.